Mafioso

I'll make him an offer he wouldn't refuse

That's what the great Don Corleone always said and it has become a classic phrase. I'm really into anything and everything about mafia. I have loads of mafia movies, books, games and posters. I've just purchased The Godfather game lately. I still haven't got the chance to try that game as I am going to get a new desktop (hopefully) and I'm quite busy lately. But I've watched Godfather- the trilogy for a trillion times and read the book a couple of times. Just recently I went to a shopping mall to get some DVDs. While I was browsing for some movies, a guy walked into the shop and asked for the Godfather box set. This guy looked like Napoleon Dynamite and he was asking for one of the greatest films of all time. The funny thing is he asked the shop owner weather the DVD is already clear or not!!! What the fuck! The Godfather part I was like 40 years old and he was asking about the quality of the picture!!. This asshole should be in hell. Anyway, the greatest movie of all time if you ask me will be Goodfellas. Those of you who haven't watch this movie should go and get it and for those of you who haven't heard about the Goodfellas can go and fuck yourself.

East Coast

Right now I'm in Terengganu on a business trip. Well, nothing much in Terengganu except beaches. There's a guy here name Ong who is sort of our guide. Asked him what's the best thing to do here and the answer is nothing. There's really nothing here. No pubs (except on some of the islands), no cinema, no entertainment and even no Mcdonald's. The nearest McD is 2 hours drive from Kuala Terengganu. I'm staying in a place called the Gem Beach Resort. Nothing much to shout about this place. But it's okay except the toilet. It sucks. We can't control the fucking water heater. So the water is just hot all the time. The best thing about this place is it faces the sea.

It's quite pathetic because this is the state that produces the most petroleum and gas in our country and yet the infrastucture is so poor. It should be some great fucking place like Dubai or something. With the petroleum and gas industry here it should've been a stimulant to the economy and produces a lot of job opportunity and in return this place should have been great. But it is not.

Sri Muda

When I shifted to Shah Alam, we stayed in a place called Taman Sri Muda. I really don't know why my parents chosed this place in the first place. It was so far away from our roots in KL. It was a new area then. Can't really remember all the neighbours. Everyone just kept everything to themselves. I was really upset, to have shifted to a place so far and have to make friends all over again. Back in KL, I know all my neighbours and I have so many friends and memories there.

So I ended in Sri Muda, Shah Alam. Never really have any friends in Shah Alam though, as I was schooled in Klang. The friends that I have in Sri Muda were those who goes to the same school as me. Just a few of them. The first impression about Sri Muda was, it's not a good place to live in as it is surrounded by factories (Shah Alam being the industrial hub for Selangor). The composition of the races who stays in Shah Alam was quite equal between the chinese, malays and indians.

Then disaster strucked! It was in 1995. I can still remember it quite clearly. It was Christmas eve. I was working in Jusco Klang after my SPM. It was raining the whole day. After work, my colleague offered to send me home with his bike (if not, I have to take a fucking bus and I'll reach home around midnight). It was still raining. When we reached the entrance to Sri Muda, I saw a lot of cars parked at the roadside and there were traffic police at the entrance stopping vehicles who wanted to get in. It was chaos. As I walked to my house, I saw some of the lower areas were already flooded and waters in the drain was spilling out. It was mud water not rain water. As I reached my home around 11 something, I informed my father that some of the areas were flooded and he just answered me, "It will be okay. Nothing will happen". He was sleeping. So I thought, " What the heck". I just went straight to bed. Then around 5 something in the morning, my father came knocking on the door calling out my name and telling me to wake up and help move the furniture. When I went down to the living room and outside the house, I saw the road was already flooded. My house was still safe. But the water was rising quickly. It took only 20 minutes for the flood water to rise till my waist. Then one by one the electric and then the phone line went down. It was pitch dark and the situation was like a war zone. When the sun came up, I went to look for my friends and we took a walk around the neighborhood. The whole of Sri Muda was flooded. And people actually broke into 'Hope In' convenient store and grabbed everything. The flood water only subsided after 3 days. There were nothing much to do during that 3 days. Just look at the 'scene'. When I had to take a leak, I just piss in the flood water like what people usually do in public swimming pool. When I had to shit, I just shit in a plastic bag or plastic container and just let it float in the flood water. It was back to the basics. No proper food, no bathing for 3 days.

After the flood, the chinese started moving out as they can't bear another episode of flooding. That's when the problem started with Sri Muda. When the chinese leaves, the indians came in. And the ratio of the races is not even equal anymore. Sri Muda is becoming less and less pleasant to stay in. Crime rates soared to a record high, criminals were born, and soon Sri Muda became a 'black area'. One of my mates Wong, who is residing in New Zealand will come back to Sri Muda once in a while as his mom is still staying there. Wong stayed in Sri Muda for 3-4 years. He came back last year. One day, he told me that he took a cab from KL to go back to Sri Muda.

Cab driver: Wahhh!!!! Sri Muda arrr. Itu tempat banyak teruk arr. Banyak kes. Saya pun takut mau pigi sana.....(hinting that Wong might require to pay more)

Wong : Yahlor. Saya duduk sana pun manyak takut worrr...

Cab driver: Hari itu arr saya punya saudara dia pun bawak teksi. Dia bawak satu customer mau pigi Sri Muda lar. Sampai Sri Muda arr itu customer ambik pisau keluar mau rompak dia. Lepas itu dia kena tikam dekat perut!!!!! Masuk hospital...

Wong: Wahhhhhhhh!!!! Manyak horror...

Cab driver: Lepas itu arrr, dia keluar hospital . Dia sudah sembuh lar. Dia pun bawak teksi balik lar. Lagi dia kena rompak dekat Sri Muda!!! Sekarang dia tak mau masuk Sri Muda lagi!!!!

Wong: (stunned!)

They keep on chatting till they reached Sri Muda. Just before the taxi enters Sri Muda, the cab driver took out his walkie-talkie and said:

Cab driver: Roger! Roger! Sekarang saya sudah mau masuk Sri Muda arr... Saya ulang, sekarang saya sudah mau masuk Sri Muda. Sekarang ialah pukul 5.25 petang. Roger! Roger!

What the fuck!! He needs to inform his colleagues when he is entering Sri Muda!! Besides Indians, there are also a lot of Banglas, Myanmars, Vietnams and I also don't know where the fuck they came from who lives in Sri Muda. It's just like the United Nations. All the muthafuckers who stays there except a tiny portion including me and family are fuckos!! Just imagine, the 'mat rempit' (mat motor) who rent a house in Sri Muda will turn the house into a fucking workshop and they will try to modify their fucking bike day and night to try to get into the Moto GP I guessed without thinking about other people who stays near them. This is because, while they are modifying their fucking bikes, they will just blast the fucking motor. It is so loud and they just don't give a fuck!!. Then there are those fucking Indian songs, fuckos who parks their car in the middle of the road and quite a lot of fuckers who turned their house into a fucking temple and a lot more lar!!!. Sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But..........I'm not staying there anymore. That's right. I'm out of that shit hole!!!!! Right now i'm staying in an upscale area in Puchong. I'm just so happy.
FUCK YOU Sri Muda's inhabitants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sales and Service Support Meeting 2006

The company that I'm working for had its Sales and Service Support Meeting in Malacca from 11th May - 14th May 2006. Well, it was full of incidents. First, Kok (new sales guy) was involved in an accident at the Seremban rest area, To (IT engineer) fractured his ankle during war game and got to be operated and PC Foong (North Area Manager) sprained his wrist. Overall it was a fun outing. There were approximately 40 of us and we stayed at the A' Famosa Hotel. It was nice and spacious.

The hotel room when I first got in. I swear it doesn't look this nice when I left.

We had one and a half day of meeting. Normal shit. Then we also had some sports activities for the purpose of team building. All of us were divided into 4 groups including the bosses. I was in group A and we decided to call ourselves "Buaya". Yah, buaya, because we like to 'buaya' people. We had to play some sports every evening. The first day, we had to play some kiddies game. But let me tell you it's no easy game as at the end of the day, my whole body was aching. That's the consequence if you don't excersice and smoke a pack a day. Then the next day we have to build a raft and cross a fucking man-made river which is 30 fucking feet deep!!!

This is how the game works. We were given 7 long bamboo sticks about 10 feet long (still shorter than my dick) and 4 short bamboo sticks, 3 tyres and some strings. We have to build a raft out of all this shit and guess what? Team Buaya build one which is out of this world. Everyone else build a mainstream one where the 4 short bamboos were used to hold the 7 long ones and the 3 tyres were placed at the bottom of the raft to make it float. I don't even know how to describe the raft that we built. Just see it yourself!

Team Buaya and its fucking raft. Normally the 7 long bamboos will be placed on top of the short ones and see how we placed it! Aren't we geniuses.


The consequences to our sophistication? The fucking raft overturned!!!


The aftermath

After all, it was a good experience as we really learned the meaning of team work and never say die attitude. In the end, we did finished the game and we are proud of it. Then, the next day, we played something which are categorized as 'extreme' sport, WAR GAME. I never play it before. First, we were given instructions of what we are supposed and not supposed to do.

The do's:
1) Just go out there and shoot all the muthafuckers anywhere you like

The don't's:
1) Don't shoot at your opponent once he / she has surrendered. But if he / she didn't noticed, just keep blasting.

As most of us are newbies to this game, we asked a lot of fucking questions like:
1) Q: is it painful to get shoot at?
A: Yes. You will get a blue black spot for a few days

2) Q: What will happened if I got shot at the crotch?
A: You can't use it for 2 weeks.

3) Q: What if I ran out of bullets? (the bullets are made of vegetable oil and gellatin)

A: Just put down the fucking gun and run for your life or you can try get the opponents' flag where you might end up dead.

So, we have four teams. 2 v 2 and the winner will advance to the final stage. As I'm a professional shooter, team Buaya never really had problems advancing to the final. And in the final, wewill be facing this team which is really not in our league. But, they have the CEO in it. So we have to be careful. The outcome of the final........., we won without a doubt BUT of so many people and so many places on the body to shoot at, I shot the big boss and I shot him at the CROTCH!!!!!! What the Fuck!!!! There goes my bonus and increment!

Just look at the pictures below and you'll see what will happen if you mess with me!








'Face Off'. Me and the Big Boss




The outcome. The Big Boss got shot at the crotch by ME!!!!!!!!!


Overall, it was a fun outing but very tiring.

Over-Worked

Fuck!!

I'll be damn fucking busy this month. It'll be a marathon of work. This is my schedule for the month of May. It's the busiest so far:
1) I'll be conducting a training at one of the semi-government hospital
2) Then I'll be going to Malacca for my company's sales and service meeting, right after the above
3) I'll be conducting a demo at IMR
4) Going to Penang for a conference
5) Going to Terengganu for a workshop
6) Going back to Penang again for another workshop

What the fuck!! And what do I get paid??
Answer: peanuts

Best Time In Life - Part II

When I was in Upper Six, I thought I'm going to flop big time. STPM is one of the hardest exams in the world!!! I didn't even wait for my STPM results as I enrolled into a private college. But the reason of going through form six is to enter a public university and avoid spending tens of thousands of ringgit to obtain a degree. I've already embarked on another journey as most of my schoolmates were still waiting for their STPM results as I knew I screwed up and chances are damn slim for me to get into a public university. But then, when the results finally came out, as expected, I did badly in my exams but..... I got accepted into a public university. So I quit private college after paying a few thousand ringgits and anxiously waited for the big day to come. The day where I will move into the campus.

On that day, my parents sent me off to the uni (it's somewhere in Bangi) and proudly waved goodbye to their soon to be successfull son. Then I checked into my hostel room and waited for quite some time before my room mate turned up. And when he finally turned up, he's a fucking INDIAN!!!! How can they let me stay with an INDIAN!!! It's a fucking nightmare. But life still has to go on. During my freshman year, I'm a total lone ranger. I got no friends but I'm a socialist. It was because during my year, most of the fuckos came from some village in the Northern State of Malaysia and for them, it's a definite NO,NO to mix with a guy that came from KL because they will bring bad influences. I guessed that's what their mommy told them. Fuck those faggots. But luckily, because of my good looks, I've managed to attract quite some babes. I only have babes as my friend during my freshman year but the problem is they wanted to be more than friends!! That's a problem when you have the looks. But still, I've managed to controlled them and I can't remember feeling any fresher than my freshman year.

When I entered second year, I met one fucking guy that became my best pal in uni by coincidence. I went to look for one of my course mate in his room and when I entered his room, I saw a guy was still sleeping soundly (it was 2 or 3 pm). My course mate said this is what his room mate does - sleep. Then, his room mate waked up and introduced himself as Yap. And then he lits a ciggie. What the fuck!! There is actually another chinese guy who smokes other than me!! From then on, we always hang out together. Thinking back, it's really funny because we treated higher learning as no more than vacation. Common student will have a daily routine of waking up early in the morning to go for lectures and sleeping around midnight. But not for me and Yap. Our day will begin at around 8 pm, when we just woke up. A time when people would be having dinner, we would only be having our breakfast. We never really go for lectures. Most of the lectures start at 8am. At that kind of time we were only about to call it a day. So we will go to bed instead of going for classes. But we still managed to pull through. Thank god. What we really did in uni was to only have fun. Smoke, eat, sleep, mamak stall, go to karaoke, buy porn vcd, booze, snooker.

When I was in my postgraduate studies, my buddies were Bros and CC. Bros is one fucking funny guy. Thinking of even his name would make me laugh. My postgraduate years were totally different from my first degree years. I have to spend all my time in the laboratory. But I still managed to have fun with some crazy people around. Fridays were the best. Because Friday would be our "lucky ball" day. It's like a ritual. We would automatically be in the snooker centre. Lucky ball is some sort of snooker but it's more interesting as we are playing for money. As I am quite a hustler, I managed to get the biggest win almost all the time. That was why we ended not playing "lucky ball" anymore. Because I would be the only winner. As CC and Bros said, "Why play lucky ball when we know that all our money would be going to HIM? Why not just give HIM the money without playing as it would turn out the same!!!" So we have to look for other entertainment. And we ended up playing LAN game in the cybercafe. We have to always look for something to cheer us up as life in a laboratory can be quite boring. But still it was part of the bestest times in my life. I wouldn't forget it.