Life Is Just A Cycle: Food And Beverage Measuring Device

Ever wish that the food or drinks you have ordered would be worth it? That the food or drink would come in a large portion and taste good? We can often tell whether the food tastes good or not but can you really tell whether the amount of food is worth it or not? If you finished the food, can you say that the quantity of the food is less or if you didn't finish the food, then the quantity of the food is more? Obviously we can't tell because there are going to be so many factors that we have to consider right? BUT, lest not we worry anymore whether the quantity of the food will be worth it or not because our beloved Donz has came up with an ingenius way (up to his standard only la) to measure food!!!

I just came back from Penang yesterday, and the first person who called me when I reached home was, none other than the great Donz himself. He called me out to have dinner. And we went to a Hong Kong styled kopitiam. This is where it gets really interesting. As Donz was browsing the menu, he complained that the menu was too intensive. He just can't make up his mind on what to eat as there are just too many items for him to choose.And after a lot of 'wows' and 'oohs', donz finally made up his mind to have the sizzling chicken chop combo that comes with a soup of the day, a main course, drinks and dessert. The first item to arrive on the table was the watermelon juice. And not to my surprised, Donz complained. This time it was the straw. As the straw is as thick as Donz' dick, he said it is better not to have the straw at all. Same goes to your dick too, Donz. And then, the soup was next. He was showing his tulan face when the waiter presented him with the soup. The soup, he said was not filled to the 'acceptable' level (please refer picture below). And this is also the point where he took his Pall Mall ciggie box and placed it next to the soup to sort of compare the size of the soup with the ciggie box. And this is what I would call the 'Donz Method of measuring food'. This fuck head is measuring food with a ciggie box (20's)!!!

Complaint number 1: The menu is too intensive. And if you are like Donz, where you IQ is sub-zero, do not attempt to browse the menu. It will kill your brain cell.

Donz' watermelon juice. Please take a close look at the thickness of the straw.

Complaint number 2: The size of the straw is exactly the size of Donz' dick.

Tataaa.... The 'Donz Method'. Just place the ciggie box next to your food and you'll know whether it's worth all your penny. According to Donz, the level of the soup is unacceptable. And this is complaint number 3.

And the soup of the day failed miserably in the 'Donz Method' according to the master himself.

According to the 'Donz Method', any food that is 5 times larger than his ciggie box will be considered as in a large portion and anything that is smaller than the ciggie box, well, will be considered as small portion and not worth it. In the 'Donz Method', the quality of the food doesn't matter. What matters the most is the quantity. To apply the 'Donz Method', you will only need a ciggie box and place it next to you food and compare the size of the food with the ciggie box. A 20's ciggie box. It can be of any brands. Not only Pall Mall. It can be Dunhill, Marlboro, Salem, Gudang Garam. But Donz prefer Pall Mall. I guess the Nobel prize judges will be testing out the 'Donz Method' soon and I'm sure the human race will benefit most from this method. And because of this Donz will be the most deserving person to receive the Nobel Prize.

This is me trying out the 'Donz Method'. And Donz gave his nod to this drink. I'm just so pleased that I've made the right choice in choosing this drink where it's worth all my money.

So, after having the soup, then came the main course. The sizzling chicken chop. And what you need to do before devouring your food?? Yeah, you have to place the ciggie box next to the food to know whether it's worth it or not!! But as Donz was about to taste the chicken chop, he noticed he should have a garlic bread but it's not given to him. So he swings into action and confront the waiter. And Donz was very tulan that he couldn't have the garlic bread with his small size soup as he already finished the soup. Anyway, the waiter came back with Donz' garlic bread and also the dessert. And the first thing that you need to do when the food arrives??

Complaint number 4: "I should have the garlic bread with the soup and I've already finished the soup!!!!" OK, lets see how the garlic bread and dessert do in the "Don'z Method". Failed!!!!