I Bet You Will

The other day while I was channel surfing, I came across this MTV production, I Bet You Will. I have watched it before just to kill some time. This is how the show works. They'll have a few host at different locations, normally at some college. They will walk around and ask if anybody will do some tasks like eating shit and they will earn some money if they completed the task.

But then it strucked me that those sohai who are willing to do the task are really sohais and the producers of the show are really smart. This is a simple and low budget show! What they'll need is a host, a camera and that's it! They don't need no actors or stunt man. The actors are those idiot college students. The tasks that you'll need to complete are like eating pig's testicles for $200; drink drain water for $50; get yourself painted from head to toe including your nike snickers for $50; get your car sprayed for $200 ; see how many dicks (hotdogs) you can put in your mouth for $50. See how Americans exploit cheap labour!! I think the producers only need a few thousand bucks to produce this show but they will earn like a few hundred thousands from commercials in return. This is no fear factor where you'll know that if you can be the fearless one you can win $50 000. I'd do whatever it takes to win $50 000. I don't give a damn if I have to eat some nasty things. But to get your car sprayed for a mere $200??? They can go fuck themselves. So now you know how clever and stupid is the Gwai Lohs. Talk about exploitation.

Come to think about it, this is how the Americans do business in China. Exploitation of cheap labour again!! Of course I do understand that if you are in business, you'll look for way to cut down on expenses. But then, if you managed to cut down the cost, then sell at a lower price where you'll know that you still make enough money. But that's not what the Americans are doing. See how much is a pair of nike shoe made in China. It's the same as though it was made in America!!! Still expensive. And now not only nike. Even Timberland shoes are made in China. And the price is still the same as though it was made in UK. Macauhai!! And M&M's too. Now when you purchased an M&M's, I bet it was made in China and not Australia anymore. The selling price is the same but it taste different. This is how to maximise your profit, just go and open a fucking factory in China . Proton should do that too. Here's a better one. MAS should hire Chinese nationals to be their pilot, steward, stewardess and ground staff so that they can overturn their deficits and make profit for once. I Bet They Will.

Zoo Negara

The last time I visited the zoo was like 20 years ago. I can't remember clearly about my only trip to the zoo so far but there are some blurry images when I came to think about it. I can still remember the main entrance, the cages with animals in it, the snakes and also the aquarium. I wonder how is the zoo now. I wonder if it has been transformed into a modern and high-tech zoo with animals like the komodos and hyennas in it. So, out of curiousity, I went to the zoo a couple of days ago to see weather the zoo has changed.

To my disappointment, the zoo had not changed a bit! Macauhai, it's been 20 years and it is still the same! Lets start with the ticketing counter and the main entrance. The main entrance still remains the same and I believed that the ticketing auntie is the same one from 20 years ago! When I walked over to the counter to get the tickets, guess what was the auntie doing? She was playing the 'used to be popular 15 years ago gameboy wannabe', the brick game a.k.a tetris.

The main entrance

The first animal that I saw was the monkey. They were in a pathetic conditions. In fact, all the animals there were in a pathetic condition. The cages were filthy and smelly and I strongly believed that the cages were the same from 20 years ago. Here are some mugshots that I took of the monkeys.

Very sad monkey

Very naughty monkey

Monkeys in uniform

Look at this poor fella. It has a tumor on its butt!! The zoo fuckers don't even bother to do something. This monkey only has one side of its butt to sit on

And guess what the monkeys do when they are bored? They will have a karaoke session. A 15 minutes karaoke session. And I guess they even have monkeys GRO.

One of the few funny things that I saw in the zoo was the wild boar. Yup, wild boar. Come on!!!! You can't put something which is on the menu in a zoo! I guess our zoo doesn't have any other animals to be shown. If they can have wild boar then why don't they include chickens, ducks, crabs, squids and prawns as well. Sohai!!

"San chu". Choose the fattest one and the zoo's chef will cook it for you

Next stop is the reptiles. There are a few crocodiles and some snakes. I saw one fucking huge anaconda. As we all know, anaconda is the biggest snake in the whole fucking world. But the one I saw is the size of a worm.

Snake fucking!!

See how big is this snake. But this is not an anaconda. It's a fucking python

Here are the rest of the mugshots and shitshots. Elephants, tiger, giraffe. Basically, our zoo is a fucking big let down.

Tiger doing his business


Elephant after shitting

Elephant shit

Giraffe

Not Again!

Djibril Cisse has broken his leg AGAIN!!!! Macibai. It's the second time in two years!! Last year he broke his left leg during a game against Blackburn and now he has broken his tibula on the right leg during a friendly just before the World Cup. And now he'll be missing the greatest show on earth. I'm really sorry for him. I believed he must be damn pissed and frustrated as he worked so hard just to get back to playing football when he broke his leg last year. Just imagine going through the pain and aganoy all over again. This is just like Bill Murray in the movie, Groundhog Day.

Promosi Biotek

When I was doing my postgraduate studies, I was part of the National Biotechnology Directorate team that organized the promotion of biotech to schools in Malaysia. My designation in this team was a facilitator. My first trip of 'Promosi Biotek" was to Alor Setar. There are normally 20 of us for each trip and around 300 participants.

The objectives of 'Promosi Biotek' are to promote awareness to school children and expose them to biotechnology. The 'Promosi Biotek' program will start with a lecture by a few professors. Then the students will be divided into groups where they will be involved in three activities:
i) DNA
ii) Computer simulation
iii) Dolly

For DNA, the students will be given a kit that comprises onions, chopsticks, lysis buffer, isopropanol, pipettes and some tubes. What the students need to do here are to extract the onions' DNA. It's a simple experiment that takes around 45 minutes. For computer simulation, the students will play around with an interactive software and they'll need to answer some questions after that. For Dolly the sheep, it's a board game.

I have a lot of memories during the 'Promosi Biotek' trip. First of all, it is an honour to be part of the team. For all the places that we went, if it's near an airport, we will go by flight. If not we have to go buy a bus. The worst experience going by a bus was to Rompin in Pahang (near Johor border). The journey took 8 Fucking hours!!!(from Bangi). For our accommodation, we will stay in a 5 star hotel. If a 5 star hotel is not available, we will take the best available. For food, we will go for the hotel's buffet. And the best thing is, each of us got paid RM400 for a day's work (normally, it's a 2 days work). If CC, Bros and me were together for a trip, all hells will break lose!. CC and I will bring a bottle of liquor and we will enjoy the Chivas or Swing every night. Then the next day we'll get hang-over. Just imagine going through all those shit I mentioned up there with your head fucked-up! There was a few incidents where Bros was quite drunk. And it was funny seeing this fat ass drunked! He was totally out when we were in Malacca. That night the three of us drank a whole bottle of Tupac's favourite, Hennessy. After we finished drinking, we hang out at the hotel lobby. Then, suddenly Bros disappeared. After a while, CC and I went looking for that fat ass. We went to the pool side and there was a foul smell. CC and I were still able to joke that maybe Bros vommitted into the pool. Then out of nowhere, Bros came out. He said that he is very drunk and that he had vommitted. We asked him where he puke? And he just stood there, stoned pointing to the pool. Niamacibai!!! This fat ass really puked into the pool. And that's not the only place he puked. He also left his mark at one of the entrance to the lobby. And he still can joked that the hotel cleaner will be damn pissed. The next memorable incident happened in a place called Jengka, Pahang. As usual we had the hang-over after the previous night's booze session. Bros was incharged of explaining the theory of DNA extraction to some innocent looking students. While he was explaining, something just burst out from his mouth. It was puke!! And he just told the other colleagues that he is sick. There was also an incident where CC was drunk. We had half a bottle of Swing the other night, just the two of us. We started drinking at around 12.30am until 2.30 am and had to wake up at 6.30 am. So the next morning, CC can't even walk properly. While in the bus he asked me to get some panadols for him as his head was spinning at 6000rpm.. So I asked around. No one have any panadols except some girls who have the panadol menstrual. No harm right as long as it is panadol. I took two and gave it to CC. And it managed to cool down his headache. So now we know that panadol menstrual can be used as a normal panadol. During the tour, we also managed to organize a snooker league. Those who were interested will pay a certain amount of money to join the league and the champion will get the biggest share. We called it the 'Le Tour de Snooker'. The most memorable place that we went will be JB. We spent a week there. The first thing we do when we arrived in JB was to go to the duty free zone to get 2 crates of beer. But the first night itself, CC's aunt came over and took us to a pub called 'Orang-Orang' and we drank from 6.30pm till like 2.00am. Never really touched the two crates that we bought till the final two days. And as usual, Bros was............... again!!! Bros was sharing another room with Mazlan and CC and I were in one room. So for the drinking part, Bros have to come over and join us. So, when Bros was drunk, he just crashed at our room. But when he woke up the next day, he dared to ask us why he was sleeping in our room!!!!! Muthafucker. Sigh..................

FA Cup Champions

I know it's a little bit late to post this but this is history.

LIVERPOOL
FA CUP WINNERS 2006